|
1. WOMEN WANT TO BE TREATED
WELL
The same rules of gentlemanly conduct that apply in
life, apply on the Net. Woman want to be treated well. Respect her
and you'll be a winner. Offend her, and you're out of the game.
2. LOVERS COME AND GO -- FRIENDS LAST
FOREVER
Although there are some women who are looking
for a casual one-net stand, most women want a Cyber-Seduction to
grow out of a friendship. If you can create a comfortable & safe
place, chances are she'll want to play more. Even the most sensuous
encounters are still all about creating relationships. They may not
be permanent, they may not have the deepest emotional intimacy, but
the guidelines for good relating apply to Cyber- Love as well.
3. RECOGNIZE THE VARIOUS STAGES OF
SEDUCTION
Different rules apply for each stage of
seduction . Recognize what stage of the seduction you're in: First
Stage: Making Contact. Second Stage: Flirting and Courtship. Third
Stage: Cyber-Seduction. Success comes to the man who recognizes what
stage he is in.
4. GETTING TO YES -- THE FIRST STAGE OF
SEDUCTION
The first stage is making contact and
determining if the woman is interested in your attention. At this
initial stage most woman are still in the no thank you mode. This is
not the best time to start sending her direct, sexual private
messages, because she is still in the no stage. Establish a friendly
connection first. Make sure she really wants to play before you
escalate the game.
Assuming you have determined that she is responding to you, the
next step is establishing a connection that is personal to the two
of you. The art of the first stage is knowing how to make it
personal without making it too personal. It requires sensitivity to
know where her boundaries are at each stage.
5. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! THE SECOND STAGE OF
SEDUCTION
The best flirtation is like a good game of
tennis. Both players return volleys. If she is not responding at
your pace, SLOW DOWN. There is no point in trying to `ace' her at
this stage in the game. Be interested in her, who she is, not what
she is! Ask questions, but don't make her feel like she's the
subject of a `60 Minutes' interview. Never ask questions about her
body parts, or her dimensions unless she's willing to volunteer that
level of information. Ask open-ended questions like how do you feel
about....? what do you like best about...? -- rather than closed
questions like Do you like Classical music? Those kind of questions
tend to lead to yes or no answers, perhaps bringing the conversation
to a halt. Keep the game going. Always respond to her, never let a
comment or question go by unanswered. If you don't have an answer,
speak up (softly). Don't just be silent. Remember, she can't read
your mind. It's easier to keep the connection going than it is to
re-start it.
6. LAY YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE
Be honest! If
you don't look like Mel Gibson, why say you do? You might as well
take the risk to find out if she is interested in who you really
are. She will be very angry at you if she finds out later you have
mislead her ABOUT ANYTHING.
Be truthful about your intentions with her at this stage. If you
are not looking for a romance, don't pretend to be. If you have
other important relationships on the net or in life, TELL HER NOW
before the situation escalates, otherwise there are bound to be hurt
feelings. Ask her the same questions about her love life and
intentions. Reveal something about yourself FIRST. THEN ask her to
do the same.
In the second stage, Be first to tell her how you feel. In the
long run she'll respect and trust you more for being open and
honest.
7. LET HER TAKE THE LEAD
As you move through
the levels of the second stage , if possible, let her take the lead
toward becoming more intimate. If she initiates deeper levels, you
will know that this is what she truly desires, and it will allow her
to feel more in control of the situation. If she feels in charge
she's less likely to become afraid of more intensity.
If she is shy, you can still help her feel in control by inviting
her rather than taking her down the path of Cyber-Seduction. Ask
her: Tell me about what you're wearing? This is better than asking
her, What are you wearing? (if you haven't reached this level of
intimacy yet.)
8. STAGE THREE: HER SENSES MAY BE DIFFERENT FROM
YOURS
If you've gotten to the cyber-seduction stage
three, you may be speaking very directly about sex and sensuality.
Remember, all of the above rules still apply, and a few more come
into play. First, her sense of choice may be different from yours.
You may want her to paint pictures for you. You may ask her to
describe what she looks like, what she's wearing and other visual
descriptions. This may do nothing for her. She may want to hear
words that turn her on. Or she may want to feel through descriptions
of sensations. She may initially prefer one modality, and then
another as things heat up. Get to know yourself and your lady and
you'll be able to play her like a fine violin.
Here's an example of how the different senses can be used. One
simple act (escalating the action at a dinner table), can be handled
in a multitude of ways:
Visual Sensation: ....I push away the dinner plates and lift you
onto the table. I can see from the look in your eyes that you are
mine. Your red lips part with longing...
Sound Sensation: ....I can almost hear you purr --- I know I
can't wait any longer, "You are mine' I whisper. Shoving away the
dinner plates, I don't care who hears us now, "You are my most
sinful dessert' I sigh....
Touch Sensation: ...I reach under the white linen tablecloth, my
hand slides teasingly slowly up your trembling thigh. You let me
gently part your legs as your moist heat attracts my fingers like a
thousand invisible magnets...
9. A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME.....
....May not
smell as sweet. What kind of words does she use to describe body
parts or acts of love? Does she like poetic & colorful innuendo,
or graphic dirty words and explicit descriptions? One false step in
this department can cause weeks of delicate feelings to unravel in a
moment. Find out what she likes before you find yourself typing away
like a wild man in the heat of action.
Erotic and (porno) graphic are very opposing styles. The
different impact of these two approaches is considerable. She may
not respond to one, whereas she may be delighted by the other.
Here is an example of an erotic approach:
...my hands find their way to the source of your desire,
awakening an almost forgotten longing....
Graphic approach: (....maybe I'll just let you imagine this
one....!)
Don't assume you know her tastes -- ask her. It may sound a
little clinical, but that's where the great lovers are separated
from the crowd. Get good at eliciting her love-strategy in a way
that is fun, provocative and passionate.
10. BRINGING NET-FANTASIES TO LIFE
If you've
been having a Cyber Love affair, you may be wondering about taking
it to the next level of reality. Assuming that you are both single
and available, you may be curious to speak on the phone or even meet
in person. WARNING: Are you willing to let go of a fantasy in order
to have a real life experience? If the answer is yes, and you are
willing to accept any possible outcome, then you know what you need
to do next. Call her! If it goes well, get on an airplane!!!
But be honest with yourself. Are you ready to have your life
(which you have some control over as long as you are at the
keyboard) disrupted? Are you ready, willing and able to face the
fact that the goddess you have been imagining and sweet chatting is
different from a living, breathing, real woman? Real women have real
needs, hopes and dreams. But if you're ready for
reality...
Cyberflirt for Man is contributed by Dan Johnson
Back to Dating Tips
|